God must have had a plan, 4 years together having moments and traveling, free time to study, His decided now its the time to bring the baby into the world.
Two months to go and our baby boy well be in our arms. It’s pretty amazing how God plan all this things. Right now I’m enjoying my healthy pregnancy, baby and I is both healthy and well.
When writing this post, I really cant imagine how painfull I am, starting to remember my precious little angel inside my tummy. Tears, heartbroken ohhhh….too hard really….
Its been a week now that I just keep in myself, the pain, loneliness, and feeling of sadness of being a mother soon, of something very dear to me my little angel.
October 13 this year, Hilton Hotel Mactan Cebu Philippines, when and where my angel was conceive, funny bu right after our wedding reception was made. After then I found out I was carrying my precious angel, since then I been very carefull of myself, health and even food that I ate.
Since then mylife is very colorfull, full of love, happiness and very excited that finally next year jully 2, 2008 we will finally see the fruit of love we have with glen.
Weeks, months, pass and I will finally to end my first trimester, Iam 12 weeks pregnant then(nearly 3months) when I arrive in the UK, so happy, overwhelm that finally we can be together as one happy family, me my sweety and the comming baby, been looking for best names, schools, clothes, foods and etc. that will be best for our baby and suddenly then……
December 19, 2007 at St.Helier Jersey UK General Hospital, I found myself bleeding, scared, crying, emotions you cant explain and emagine, Im glad glen is with me those times, to comfort me and to love me. Dr, William is been checking me, asking questions and doing me an ultra sound, just one hour after we found out a very shocking news…..THERE IS NO BABY…NO BABY….its like a very scary voice saying to me you dont have baby in your tummy…I SAY WHAT? YOUR KEDDING ME DOCTOR….well dr.william a black guy but nice , saying I have a BLIGHTED OVUM, yes I am really pregnant, but the fetus is not being developed only the sack and the placenta is there but no baby at all, so expect that you gonna be bledding more…
Its quite hard to understand really, I can feel, see, and everything that YES, I am pregnant, but sad thing is no baby being develop.
Since then, feels like, Im not a good mum, that I did not take care the baby in my tummy, but the doctor and glen said nobodys fault what happend, sometimes it will really happend, and GOD above is the only one knows about it, who control everything but I DO BELIEVE I HAVE BABY BUT SHE IS NOW IN HEAVEN.
this the poem that glen wrote for me last 3 years..for he is searching for a perfect princess..and thanks god its me, also another poem that he wrote intended just for me..
Waiting for Princess
It’s fair to say that I’m okay
When I greet the shine of each new day
With hope and expectation
I do what I always do
Make toast and tea enough for two
Without a hint of reservation
Through my day I chat to folk
And go about the routine of work
As I give my absolute best
Then I ride my bike in fading light
And feel alive with the wind if night
As my heart pounds through my chest
Then I meet my friends in club or bar
And love the fun of where we are
And realize I’m I lucky man
And though I go home to empty house
No laugh of children, nor loving spouse
I thank the Lord with all I am
I take a breath in this cold dark room
My lover will be coming soon
And when she does this place will glisten
I think about what to say
As I tell her all about my day
And then watch and carefully listen
I hear her every thought as such
So smooth her face and soft her touch
I watch her face, those amazing eyes
And I give my love in every sense,
Without reserve, with no defense
As I absorb her longing signs
As mornings comes I kiss her head
And take toast and tea to her in bed,
These moments they are so precious
And I can truly say I do not regret
Waiting for the girl I have not yet met
For she is my coming princess.
Somewhere Out There
Tonight I sit alone
And watch the hazy glow of light
And hear the distant sounds of fun
Through a still and darkened night
I’m thinking of my girl
Of her smile and shining eyes
I remember talk and special texts
And some moments of surprise
And I send I kiss to her
Into the open air
Somehow I know it’ll make its way
And she’ll feel I’m with her there
And when I fall to sleep
I’ll be dreaming that she’s near
I hope so much when I awake
She’ll be lying with me here
And although she’s somewhere out there
It feels a million miles away
Our hearts will be forever close
Through the seconds of each day
hey…I cant belive it…all the things that I hope in mylife to come, really made it came true..and guess what?
I dont know if this is just a coinsedence but I guess God plan this to happend…Glen and I first meet april 2004, and as month pass we become lovers, june 18 2004, and plan to get weed june also soon as I graduete…and really it made come true..I guess June is my lucky month..we just weed last june 2007 3 years of being boyfriend/girlfriend relationship…That was really my happiest day in my life…
Finally for 3 years of waiting, I finally and so proud to say that Iam Mrs.Sturdee now….Glen and I both say a promise to each other that we will love each other for better or for worst tel death do we part, now and forever…
The ceremony is just too small just my family and my best friend glens business partner Mam cathy and sir norman and one of glens bible friends…the ceremony took place in one of the new and tallest Hotel in Cebu, CLUB ULTIMA HOTEL REGENCY, at 21st floor…
After all this preparation we still have another wedding reception in 3months time, that would be in September, that all of my friends can come, glens friends from UK and AUSTRALIA, also his mom and dad….that time I will be wearing my long white gown, which is my dream together with my entourage and glens groomsman…
I just realize now, that Iam truly bless by God, Im been waiting for this time, that I can tell the world that hey…."were MARRIED NOW"…… his all mine now, Im bless in a way that, he give me a man that is soo good and loves me soo much….really I have nothing to ask more,,,if there is maybe..I hope a baby soon will come..hehehe that would be very gwapa….
Before a next chapter in my life will come, I will share this happiness to all of my close friends those who knows about our never ending love with glen, those who share my loneliness when glen is away, and those who comported me..thanks guys….your all part of my happiness…your all invited in my wedding reception….
Lastly, God thank you soo much for the LOVE, UNDERSTANDING AND BOTH GOOD HEALTH, that you showered us, with me and glen….We love you…
…..THE SO CALLED lOVE……
Once in our life, we can’t say and dictate what going to happen with us, to
ourselves, and even to our heart.
I may not able to express how I feel right now, in doing this post, but deeply,
deep down in my heart, I feel restless, and unhappy..
I feel unhappy because a part of me is missing.
I know this is only a Test of us, by GOD’s and I do believe that someday we
will overcome this and be grateful this was happened…
I believe a good foundation of LOVE & FRIENSHIP, is a key factor to a
greater success of the relationship…
I know someday we will be still together…And I’m always hopping that soon it
will happened..
I strongly believe the power of our love that no matter what happened…We will
overcome this test of God.
I know it’s a long wait, but I know my long waiting is worthy…coz I will be
in the arms of my LOVE, my LIFE and my Happiness’….
Some says I’m crazy, but I ask you is it a crazy thing to hope for something
which is I know that will really happened?
I guess not, I’ve come this far…So I fight for this…
This is just one of the trials that me and my sweetie had overcome…and I guess
this is just a small thing compare to the fast..
Sweetie…If ever someday you will read this post…I will let you know, that I’m
waiting patiently, and Loving you so much…I know we can make this…I know we
can..I trust you, I trust GOD, and I trust our love together…
Soon, we will be together, and soon we can share together the loves that were
always wanting…
And this is love, LOVE means give and take…now its my time to give
sometime…now its the time to be show I am so sincere with this relationship…
LOVE is waiting, LOVE is true, and LOVE is forgiveness….
"The Moment I was hopig to come"
Before I will start , I just want to say thank you to our Almighty God! If not coz of him, Im not here writing of this post of mine…I do this coz I want to share my happiness I have felt since I got the news….I know you were wondering what Iam saying…
It was started like this…I was just a girl who is working in a small resto…when I meet my love of my life..Im just 18 year old at that time, first job I work to..there I meet lots of people, including him(my sweety)I did not expect that we will be close and become lovers, until one day his friend approaches me and ask my number just for his friend, that he said too shy to ask personally….I was shy also at the time, ofcourse! If a hansome guy will ask your number I dont know if you will not get "kilig" or excited, so I give my number, after that the story goes…..were starting dating…and he ask me to visit him in his place in dumaguete…I went there not just one time..but a couple of times….after one year of being a bofyriend and girlfriend, my sweety propose me and give me an engagement ring..wow..very nice ring…that was on june 2005, and after were engage for one year, my sweety set a date for our wedding…and that will be next year june 2007, after I will graduate, gush!!….I cant wait….this is what I was hoping to come….soon we will be complete me and my sweety..and hopefully if Gods well, we can have a small angel to complete our family…this is not the end of my story just starting a half of it….
